The Death of a Mother is the First Sorrow Wept without her

The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her ... 

The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her ...

 All cues I received as little girl about situations that bring on tears were validated by my mother's reaction to them:  I cried when my tooth hurt, I was gracious when I didn't get the birthday present that I really wanted, I cried when my heart was broken for the first time --- and through all these she was right there, my best friend and mentor, talking with me and listening... I mean really really listening to me with true interest in what I have to say.

A couple of months after my 27th birthday, she had died.  she was gone.  permanent.   never coming back. gone.   forever.  done.

So there it is was and she was it - the sorrow of her was the first sorrow without her.  A sorrow so deep and so profound that logically would be one to trigger tears but I had nothing. My angelic mother died, in front of my eyes, after I gave her permission to go and then .....nothing...... i had no tears